IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I said "one day" and that day is not today
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize