we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
