and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
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