Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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