We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
