My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
