If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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