It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
