She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Randomize
