You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Randomize