What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Fuck appropriateness.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
