I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
