Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
