i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
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