hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
