I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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