from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
