So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
