dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
