I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
