I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
