I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I FOUND THE LEGS
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize