Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
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