Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
