I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
