Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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