She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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