Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
