Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Can I color on your dick again?
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
