he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize