you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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