I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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