How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
