Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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