So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Randomize
