dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
