Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
