I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Barsexuality is the new black.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Randomize
