Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Randomize
