we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
