he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
