Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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