I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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