So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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