i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Randomize
