I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
