carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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