she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Randomize
