Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Randomize