So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize