I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
