yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
