PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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