can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
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