This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Randomize
