Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
