Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
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