you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
