HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
