Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
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