so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
