You don't have asthma, your pregnant
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
