: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Randomize
